Monday, March 7, 2011

The Misread Sign

The Misread Sign seemed quirky, spontaneous, and intelligent--a mix I can rarely resist. He was polite and fully capable of planning the date without any help from me--characteristics I adore in person. MS was generally kind and intelligent, but he was a bit too old for me, lived way too far away, and we had absolutely nothing in common. He enjoyed the Renaissance Fair, Burning Man, and Tarot card readings as well as professional lobbying and consulting services. I enjoy none of those. However, Tarot has always intrigued me and that is exactly how MS got me on the date.

We met at a casual restaurant nearby. As I often do I arrived early, which means I got a prime view as MS came sauntering over. I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am not overly superficial, but I do place value on appearance. I don't require my dates to be male-model material, but I do prefer a man whose style matches my own conservative and (I like to think) chic style. The MS was definitely not conservative and most certainly not chic. He looked like very tall a mixture between a character from Oliver Twist and a mechanic. He wore long black Dickies shorts, tall black Dr. Martin boots, a big black leather jacket, and a tall leather top hat. Yes, a top hat. Lets take another moment to reflect on this. Shorts, boots, top hat. In public. And yes, I do realize how judgmental I sound right now.
MS and I sat down and chatted for a bit. He read my Tarot and told me things that were probably vague enough generalizations about my age, gender, and socio-economic status that they seemed spot on. Yes, I do often fall for guys that I don't necessarily consider good for me. Yes, I am making plans for a bright future. Yes, I do sometimes have troubles with my family life. It was actually a lot of fun, but I am still a skeptic. After the reading, we continued to chat. I could quickly see that we didn't have much in common and that I would not be interested in dating MS. However, we got along well enough and we decided we would catch a movie at the theater just down the street. It seemed like a harmless idea--two people just enjoying an evening together. Also, he took his top hat off before we got into the theater so I was relieved.

I enjoyed the movie, but did not enjoy the part where MS decided to plant his big hand and a good portion of his arm on my leg. As I awkwardly tried to wiggle away, he removed his hand only to replace it later. Having mistakenly thought we were on the same page about our lack of potential, I became worried that MS thought this was going somewhere. I was right.

After the movie, he walked me to my car. I hastily found my keys in my purse as MS told me how much fun he had and how he'd really like to do it again. I thanked him for a lovely evening and told him I enjoyed myself. He leaned towards me with eyes slightly closed and mouth slightly open. I quickly put my hand on his shoulder and moved around him to place a very benign kiss on his cheek. The Misread Sign seemed disappointed but finally understood that nothing was going to happen between us.

XO Jane

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